Sorry. Not sure why I haven’t been around. What’s worse is that I’m not sure I care.

I guess other things in my life have taken over, maybe become more important.

As those of you who read Brad’s blog will know we’ve had [...]]]> Well look at that! I’ve been away quite a while haven’t I?

Sorry. Not sure why I haven’t been around. What’s worse is that I’m not sure I care.

I guess other things in my life have taken over, maybe become more important.

As those of you who read Brad’s blog will know we’ve had some sad times recently with the loss of Jesse, Helen & MJ’s gorgeous black lab. She was only two years old and it was quite difficult to deal with. There really was no point me trying to put on a brave face because when it comes to death, especially the death of beloved animal, my brave face involves lots of crying, snot and a conversation that makes no sense in structure or sound.

I was apart from the man on Valentines day but he did me a lovely video and I’d hidden a card for him by the Love Actually DVD in our collection. We don’t buy for each other. We did the first year but haven’t since then. It was horrible being away from him on that day. I know essentially it’s just another day but I’ve always liked the fact that we’ve been together for all of them. Now that record is a little tarnished. I didn’t really have much choice though as I had to go to the UK to collect a car. A Vauxhall Vectra. It’s nice enough but I’ll only be keeping it for a few months. I really can’t be bothered going in to the why’s etc.

In other news we move house one week tomorrow. We decided that our three bedroom house really was too big for just the two of us, even if it was extremely useful when the in-laws all come over. So we decided to down-size… to a MASSIVE five bedroom mansion! My dad told me we should go for a small three up-two down place. Well we have. There are three bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. We have four damn toilets! Only three of the toilets actually work, as I found out to my horror after I’d taken a dump in the faulty one!

Once we’re in there properly, with all our furniture, I’ll post a little video of the house, MTV Cribs-esque, so you can see it. For those of you that haven’t seen the house we’re in now you have seven days before the furniture is gone but you have until the 28th March before we give the keys back.

I’m sure I have other news but right now I need to go and get a coffee. I’ve been awake since 5.30am which is my own fault as I got drunk yesterday afternoon and was in bed by…. erm… actually I don’t know what time I was in bed. I remember Brad talking about going to bed to watch a film but I don’t actually remember getting into bed or even watching anything on the television, let alone a film. So, although the head isn’t as bad as it should be, I do desperately want a coffee.

P.S. While we move I’m off the diet but in four weeks I lost 2st 3lb. Go me!

“So how was this week?” she asked, as she does every week. “Not good,” I said, “I’ve kind of cheated twice.” “How do mean cheated?” “Well I had two meals out.”

She frowned a little but more so [...]]]> Arriving at Mrs Dietwoman’s house this afternoon I was a little worried about what she was going to tell me.

“So how was this week?” she asked, as she does every week.
“Not good,” I said, “I’ve kind of cheated twice.”
“How do mean cheated?”
“Well I had two meals out.”

She frowned a little but more so because she’d already told me that I’m allowed to break the diet if I want to as I’d still have lost weight if I’ve stuck to it the rest of week.

I explained to her about my parents coming to Dublin on Wednesday and we’d have a meal out. I told her about the half of a baguette I had while waiting for them at the airport. I then told her about the sunday dinner I had yesterday. I didn’t tell her about the fruit salad and ice-cream I had after dinner or about the one rich tea biscuit I stole last night while every one was having tea or coffee.

“Well, as I said to you at the first appointment, life goes on. Now lets weigh you and see what’s happened,” she said.
“Don’t be surprised if I’ve only lost 2lb or even put 2lb back on!” I replied.

So onto the scales I stepped, all worried and nervous about what she’d say. So much so that I couldn’t actually look down.

She looked at the scales, looked at me, looked back at the scales and then she looked at me again and smiled.

“You’ve lost 7lb.”
“What?” I said, astounded.
“You’ve lost 7lb. So lets see, in total so far you’ve lost,” she paused to work it out, “2st 1lb.”

I sat down, amazed I’d lost anything and even more amazed I’d lost that much!

So I’m not 2st 1lb lighter than I was this time three weeks ago. Holy fuck! I’m still in shock and still over the fucking moon!

I’m nearly halfway to my goal weight!

Shit!

I’ve been incredibly snowed under with stuff at home and at work. I’m on this course (as most of you know) through work and the workload for me is a lot so I’d hate to think what it’s like for those people on the course who have kids [...]]]> Apologies for the lack of updates recently.

I’ve been incredibly snowed under with stuff at home and at work. I’m on this course (as most of you know) through work and the workload for me is a lot so I’d hate to think what it’s like for those people on the course who have kids to look after as well!

Mind you, I shouldn’t complain. I’ve had two sets of results so far, both distinctions, and have been told I’m on my way for another distinction in the current module I’m doing. I don’t expect to get a distinction in two of the modules as I hate the lecturer, as do we all, and it would appear she’s lost one of my assignments which I now have to reprint and hand in again!

So on the weight front things are going FANTASTICALLY well!

Week one I lost 12lb and then in week two I lost 6lb. I think I’ll have lost 3lb on week three and not because I’m having it again but because I had a night off yesterday. When I saw Mrs Dietwoman I asked her about what I should do if I was invited out for a meal and she said (and I quote) “for God’s sake! Life goes on! If you want to go out for a meal then go out! Just try to eat sensibly and how I told you. You’ll still have lost weight as you’ll have stuck to the diet for the rest of the week, just not as much as you would have! Go out. Enjoy yourself!”

Well my parents came to Dublin yesterday to watch a football match, bringing with them my aunt and uncle who live in Australia. It was there grandson playing in the football match. I haven’t seen them in eighteen years and as much as my father protested at us travelling all that way to see them I had to really. They’d come halfway round the world so it wasn’t going to take much effect for me to drive 200km to see them!

Anyway it was because of this trip that I broke my diet. We all went out for a meal to an excellent restaurant called Le Bon Crubeen in Dublin. The menu actually had a low-calorie option which I chose but not just because it was low in calories but because it sounded gorgeous. Lemon & Thyme grilled chicken on a bed of spinach and red onion salad with chick peas and olives. I don’t actually remember seeing any olives which was fine as I hate them. When I started the diet Mrs Dietwoman told me that as my stomach got smaller I’d want smaller portions. Well I actually ended up leaving half of it! This is like me at all. I was also the last to finish whereas usually I’d have wolfed the whole lot down and then asked for a pud!

At the airport while waiting for them to arrive we treated ourselves to a baguette and coffee. Rather than a baguette each, which would be normal for me, we had one and split it. Again I was still eating long after Brad had finished and by the end of it I was full! Me! Full on on half a baguette! Will wonders never cease?

I’ve also found I need a belt! I’m starting to pull my jeans up more and yesterday I even got into a pair of jeans I’ve never been able to get in to. They were given as a gift before you think I randomly go out and buy jeans in smaller sizes!

So all in all the last few weeks have been tremendous. 18lb’s in weight lost, fitting in new jeans, seeing my aunt & uncle and parents, getting fit and two distinctions!

I told you 2010 was my year!

Today has been harder than yesterday but then again I wasn’t at work yesterday I was on my course. Today I made breakfast for the [...]]]> On Monday when I say Mrs. Dietwoman she told me that the first and second day would be the hardest. If that’s true then tomorrow should be dead easy!

Today has been harder than yesterday but then again I wasn’t at work yesterday I was on my course. Today I made breakfast for the lads and the temptation to have some toast was damn strong! The smell of the bread toasting, the butter melting on it and the crunch as I cut the slice in half all made the idea of one piece of toast seem perfectly naturally. ‘No one is ever going to know’ I thought. Of course, I would. I’d have known. It was only the fact that I managed yesterday that actually stopped me from eating it.

Those thoughts also stopped me eating curry at lunchtime, crepe’s and fresh cream from the fridge, Tayto’s in the cupboard and spring rolls in the evening.

I don’t actually have a lot in my life to be proud of, and that’s not a call for comments of encouragement telling me what you think I should be proud of, it’s just the way I feel, but I am proud of this. I’m proud that even though it’s for two days (so far) I’ve stuck with it when I could have just had one chocolate chip cookie that was staring at me from the press. As I said before, no one would know – apart from me! The only way I’ll prove to myself and others that I didn’t actually eat the biscuit, or anything else I had access to, is when I start to show that I’ve lost weight. Maybe I’ll gain a bit of self-respect as well as I have very very little of that left anymore!

I’m hungry now but then again I haven’t finished my two litres yet but there is just over a mouthful left so that’ll be gone before this post appears in the feed.

I’m hungry now but then again I’m on a liquid diet.

I’m hungry now but then again my body is used to a lot more calories than the 610 I’m getting.

I’m hungry now but then again I’m always hungry!

P.S. Forgive spelling and/or grammar tonight please. I’m so incredibly tired.

I’m 20st 6lbs!

Well not for much longer.

Day one of my diet is going well. I’m hungry but not starving, although I was earlier. Thankfully I managed to stave off the hunger but keeping in my mind that I’d be enjoying my soup later. I still have one meal owing to [...]]]> Gorgeous Subbers won.

I’m 20st 6lbs!

Well not for much longer.

Day one of my diet is going well. I’m hungry but not starving, although I was earlier. Thankfully I managed to stave off the hunger but keeping in my mind that I’d be enjoying my soup later. I still have one meal owing to me so that’s not bad. I was told the first 4-5 days would be like this and if this is as bad as it gets then it’s going to be a piece of piss! Talking of piss… I’m pissing like a fucking racehorse! I’m also incredibly tired but I’m blaming that on the dogs barking all night rather than lack of food!

So, in apparently 12 weeks I’ll be 17st 6lb… or there abouts. I’m not overly thrilled about that as I still think it’s too heavy for my own personal liking but after a short break I can carry on and by the summer I’ll be 14st something or other as long as everything goes to plan, and there’s no reason it shouldn’t.

I knew I was in for an eye opening experience but didn’t realise just how much! For €80 a time she is well worth it. Actually, I think she is. Lets just say that right now she appears it, we’ll [...]]]> So I went off to see my new fitness instructor and nutritionist today.

I knew I was in for an eye opening experience but didn’t realise just how much! For €80 a time she is well worth it. Actually, I think she is. Lets just say that right now she appears it, we’ll see if she’s earned her money when I go back next week and find out how much I’ve lost.

Because I wasn’t always this size my weight has never really bothered me but I’ve known for a long time I should be doing something about it. I once weighed twenty-five stone! A diet club helped me lose most of that but it was closed down when we found out the leader was on the fiddle.

Lovely Anita (and she really is lovely) has given me a strict diet of stuff and recommended little exercise for the first two weeks as if I do too much I’ll get angry at not being able to do it and that will lead me to not do any at all. Makes sense really but it’s not something I’ve ever really thought of.

So people, I have a little game for you.

Take a look at the two pictures below and tell me how much I weigh now. I won’t be offended with any guess. I was quite shocked. The person who gets closest gets a little prize of some sort, I don’t know what yet, maybe a cake I’m not allowed to eat! I’ll give you a clue… it’s more than 15st and less that 25st.

For a price I’ll post the nude ones!

P.S. I’m not smiling for a reason, not because I’m unhappy at being a tubby lump of lard.

P.P.S. Any one who wishes to shout abuse (and yes, there is a certain someone) feel free. Keep in mind that all you’re doing is pointing out the obvious. That’s hardly insulting is it? Oh and at least I’m losing weight, you’ll always be pig fucking ugly.

It’s my opinion and it may not necessarily match yours but it’s still mine so to me it’s right, to you it might not be but to me it is.

Florence + The Machine.

In my opinion she’s not “all that.” Mediocre unoriginal voice with old format [...]]]> Before you comment make sure you’ve read the ENTIRE entry!

It’s my opinion and it may not necessarily match yours but it’s still mine so to me it’s right, to you it might not be but to me it is.

Florence + The Machine.

In my opinion she’s not “all that.” Mediocre unoriginal voice with old format songs. Nothing new, nothing special, not even very good.

I am sick to death mildly annoyed by people telling me she’s great and that I know nothing about music! I may not be some big record producer but I’m entitled to a fucking opinion and I know what I like and don’t like. I do not like her. You might, good for you, I’m pleased that our tastes differ as it would be a very boring fucking world if we all thought the same.

In my opinion the only reason I can see her doing so well is because she has a wacky* name and people think because she’s “a bit different” she must be followed. It happens quite often with new artists until they get a bit too popular and people stop following and use the excuse that they sold out or something similar.

Very recently people have been telling me that she’s good. Not that they think she’s good but that she IS and there must be something mentally wrong with me for not liking her! What is that all about? Why can’t people be entitled to their own opinions, why must mine be wrong?

I know some people having been joking about it and that’s fine, I know when it’s joke, but sadly some people have been quite serious about it.

I could quite easily point out that NME called Flo’s album “just okay” and that the the reviews of her appearance on the Live Lounge say that she was abysmal but I haven’t because it’s irrelevant when talking about my opinion and/or your opinion.

It’s not just Florence + The Machine though! What the fuck is there to like about Lady Gaga? Now, as hypocritical as it might sound I quite like some of his tracks, but he’s not the break-away artist of the fucking century, as I was told a few weeks ago. He’s a Gwen Stefani Wannabee and a failing one at that.

There are many other artists I could list that I don’t like and I’m sure some of you would suck through your teeth and be bitter at the fact that I don’t like that artist but tough shit! It’s my opinion, if you don’t like it it’s your problem not mine… but stop making it my problem!

Now, before you leave a comment, should you want to, if it’s a comment telling me how good Flo or Lady Gaga are then don’t bother. I’m only going to tell you that you’re talking crap and I may even delete the comment. If you want to tell me why my opinion is wrong then feel free to do that but give me some actual evidence, not your opinion. If your evidence includes phrases such as “you have to like her” or “she’s just brilliant” or even “you must be retarded to not like her” then I may belittle you. It’s my blog and I’m allowed to do that.

*She doesn’t, it’s just old fashioned – or was!

On [...]]]> I’m often amazed at how the mind works when it comes to memory recall. I couldn’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday but a simple comment on the radio has me instantly remembering something from over twenty-five years ago that I hadn’t thought about for probably the same amount of time.

On the radio today they were talking about the snow (every other news item seems irrelevant at the moment) when a caller said “and I could only go at about thirty miles per hour!” Instantly in my head it’s 1984!

I’m eleven years old and it’s my first year at secondary school. Earlier that year I’d bought a clipboard from WHSmiths with some vouchers I’d had from my Auntie Winnie for my birthday. What an eleven year old needs with a clipboad is beyond me but I know I wanted it! It was yellow and had “Speed Limit: 30mph when leaving class!” written on the front. I found it hilarious! The shame!

So there I am in a biology lesson with Miss Kelly and I’m taking notes with my notepad fastened to my clipboard. I was so proud and it obviously made me the most itelligent person in the class.

Without warning Spencer Glanville, a fellow pupil, grabs it out of my hands and “autographs” the back!

“That’ll be worth a fortune when I’m famous!” he says.

I was furious but could do little about it as I was already on report for telling an English teacher to fuck off so snapping at Glanville would have got me in more trouble!

I got my revenge by unscrewing the leg of his tripod while he fetched a beaker of water. As soon as he put the beaker on the tripod it gave way and 300mls of water soaked him and his workbook – the intended target.

Miss Kelly took one look at the tripod and knew it had been tampered with and muttered “bloody sixformers!” under her breath as she cleaned up broken glass and told us to settle down.

I still have the clipbaord somewhere at mothers and although it’s faded a litle you can still make out the feint nearly twenty-six year old signature of an eleven year old Spencer Glanville on the back.

Spencer left our school at the end of the first year and I’ve never heard of him since. If anyone knows if he ever became famous, other than his mention on the worlds most popular blog, let me know. I could be sitting on a small fortune!

Of course there were some good times like our trip to Berlin [...]]]> I’ve been sat going though my blog entries of 2009 to try and boost my memory so I can write a review of my year but 2009 was so full of death and sadness that I don’t think it would make a good review.

Of course there were some good times like our trip to Berlin and then to Hull and the various visit here by our friends. Ruaidhrí’s 1st birthday, the birth of Saroise and the various birthday parties we attended through-out the year.

I can only hope that 2010 is better. It hasn’t started out too well to be honest but they news officially came in on New Years Eve so I’m filing it under 2009 news so at least the first five days of 2010 have been pleasant.

New Years Eve was lovely. Very civilised at the Duggans with canapes and nibbles and champagne to toast in the new year. Mother rang, wankered, at 12.30 to wish us happy new year even though when I spoke to her earlier that evening she said she’d not be calling.

New Years Day was quiet. I was at work all day, as I was the day after, and all trips out and walks have been cancelled due to the icy roads. It’s a bit of shit as one of the service users doesn’t cope well with being stuck in all day and sadly wouldn’t understand why he couldn’t go out. He got a bit tetchy in the morning after having spent the previous day inside, but seemed to calm down when I gave him some attention.

Well what was going to be a review of 2009 has turned into something else so I’ll go now and write something else later.

Joy!

She examined me and listening to my chest and then said that given all the symptoms it was quite obviously swine flu. “Without swabs and tests I can’t confirm it but I assure it’s swine flu!” she said.

I have a [...]]]> I went to the doctor yesterday and have it semi-confirmed that I have Swine Flu.

Joy!

She examined me and listening to my chest and then said that given all the symptoms it was quite obviously swine flu. “Without swabs and tests I can’t confirm it but I assure it’s swine flu!” she said.

I have a antibiotics to fight the infection and stop it turning into pneumonia but she wouldn’t give me anything to fight the virus as she says it’s too late. She’s also given me steroids to help with my breathing as on occasion I don’t seem to do it so well.

I’ve had colds before and when I was little I actually had proper real influenza (spent a week or so in hospital in a big plastic tent with no contact from anyone!) but I don’t ever remember feeling as ill as I do now.

Occasionally it feels like the inside of my head is spinning and then I get a buzzing sound in my ears. My eyes get a bit bugged out and my nose is totally blocked. I feel so incredibly weak, to the point that even typing this takes more energy than I currently have available. It takes me an age to get warm and when I finally do I’m too hot and it takes just as long to cool down. My throat feels itchy and it hurts to cough.

I’ve had man-flu and gay flu but nothing compares to this.

On a more positive note I have discovered a new colour. When you look at it you think it’s green but the more you look the more it becomes brown and then on closer inspection it appears red before returning to green. It’s am amazing effect and I’ve yet to think of a name for it. It’s best I not tell you how I found it.

I actually have a feature length film in the planning but after having the funding refused a couple [...]]]> There was a time, back in the day, when I used to make short films. I’d advertise for actors and extras, find locations, and turn a short script or joke into a five or ten minute film.

I actually have a feature length film in the planning but after having the funding refused a couple of times I decided to put it on the back-burner, as they say, and reapply at some other time.

I think now is that time, but I also think it’s been that long since I’ve actually done anything along these lines that I need to get back in to the swing of things.

So, with that in mind I’ve decided to make a couple of short films and enter them into a couple of film festivals. I’ve entered some of my other works into festivals before and won a couple of awards at times, a fact I’m quite proud of and will happily display (brag about) on any curriculum vitae I attach to any future projects.

I’ve already got the story for my first short film sorted. It’s a short story by someone most of my viewers will know quite well. I’m not going to mention names, that’s up the author but I’ve spoken to them and have their full permission to use the story and they’ve even offered to help out here and there. I’m quite glad they’ve offered as it saves me begging in a couple of weeks when things don’t seem to sound as good as they should and it’ll all be because I’ve made some stupid mistake somewhere. Many of you won’t believe this but there are times I’m wrong you know.

All I have to do now is turn it into a script, organise a shooting schedule, find the locations and get the actors! Editing will be easy, music will be okay-ish and I even have a gimmick to ensure it’s entry into festivals! I’m not revealing the gimmick just yet as it’s something I want to be revealed at the very end of the short film, in the credits or such like.

I’ll keep you updated on here and on the soon-to-be-redeveloped-website and may even give some of you a preview. There is a small eighty seater cinema in Galway I can hire and I’m very tempted to have a “premiere” just for the hell of it!

So, anyone fancy acting? I’m looking for young woman, she is the only speaking part (this may and probably will change as the time goes), and loads of extras. The only requirements are that you can get to Galway and own something black! Let me know.

1. Have you ever taken part in a demonstration? Yes.  It was fun.

2. Is there an issue you’d protest against no When isn’t there an issue I’d protest again?  I love soup in a polystyrene cup and standing round a burning oil drum!

3. Through-out history there has been an event that has lead to every [...]]]> As seen here.

1. Have you ever taken part in a demonstration?
Yes.  It was fun.

2. Is there an issue you’d protest against no
When isn’t there an issue I’d protest again?  I love soup in a polystyrene cup and standing round a burning oil drum!

3. Through-out history there has been an event that has lead to every day at one point or another being called “Bloody.” What’s the worst day of the week for you?
I don’t really have one as my work is seven days a week.  I don’t work seven days a week though!  Does any of that make sense?

4. There have actually been eleven Bloody Sunday events around the world, the last one (1972) leading to a song by U2. Which world wide event would you like to see a song written for?
I wouldn’t.  I can’t abide tribute songs and shit like that.

5. The one person I’d like to see in prison is …………………… for the crime of … ?
I have a real issue answering this as there are so many people I’d like to see in prison for various crimes

Relax in the bath they said.

Want to see the results? It’s not pretty. You’ve been warned.

Click here – Picture 1 Picture 2

Now I have a splitting headache.

On the [...]]]> So today we headed off to Enniskillen in Northern Ireland. For those of you that don’t know (and yes there are some surprisingly) Northern Ireland is part of the United Kingdom but Southern Ireland (the Republic of Ireland) is not, it’s a whole separate country. Bert and I live in the Republic.

On the radio last week they talked about how people are travelling “up north” to do their shopping, christmas and general grocery. I decided this sounded like a good idea so thought we should give it a try.

Enniskillen is only a couple of hours away from where we live and interestingly enough my maternal grandmother and all her family are from there so it was an extra special trip for me.

We set off around 7.30am and got to Tesco for 10am. We didn’t even realise we’d gone across the border until we saw the PSNI station in Belcoo. The PSNI is the Police Service for Northern Ireland. They didn’t want to be known as the Northern Ireland Police Service. The PSNI station is incredible. It’s like a small prison! It certainly makes you feel unwelcome as you enter the UK but it’s a left over from the troubles and as a border station has blast walls and bullet proof glass.

The Tesco store was laid the same as any Tesco store I’ve been in so we, thankfully, knew which aisles to head for.

Our purpose was to buy birthday, christmas and anniversary gifts and once we’d done that we’d do a bit of grocery shopping.

We had a nice slow walk round Tesco and then over to Asda and then into the Erneside Shopping Centre and by the time we’d finished we’d got a car full of goodies and sore feet.

The trip home took longer than the trip there as we missed two turns and really had no idea where we were going.

We unloaded the car in the rain and then loaded up with the stuff we need for tonight and tomorrow as we’re staying with Mr & Mrs Duggan tonight and tomorrow Helen and I are having a baking day.

So there you have my day and I bet you’re wondering why we travelled north to do our shopping given that we live in a very beautiful part of Ireland with every shop you could imagine. Well the cost was the issue.

I’ve already been told how I’m not supporting the Irish economy by doing this and I agree that I’m not but I have my reasons. I’m currently paying a pension levy on my pension contributions in my wages on a pension I will never get. This started in April of this year. In January we got hit with a 1% income charge to try and stabilise the economy and, as we all knew and expected, this failed hence the pension levy. Sadly the pension levy is only for those of is in the public service and in December we’re going to get hit by more taxes. In one year my income has gone down by 12% and even though the government tell me that the cost of living has gone down and I can assure them it’s not.

Fuel (petrol, diesel and heating oil) has all gone up, milk and butter has all gone up and alcohol has gone up. This list is not exhaustive. The only things I know that have down are house prices (we not buying yet), rental house prices (ours hasn’t!) and clothing prices.

Great, so the cost of clothing has gone down but the cost of food has gone up! It’s just as well it’s that was round so I can afford to buy new clothes as I get thin from not being to afford to eat.

Cowen and his fucking cronies can tell me as much as they want that the cost of living has come down but the people they really need to tell are the shops! Maybe they’ll reduce their prices then and prove him right! Until then my taxes think he’s a lying cunt, just like the lying leader before him (I’m stating opinion there – mine, no one else’s! I’m allowed to state my opinion!)

So once we’d bought all our christmas (and etc) gifts we bought some things from ourselves.

I’d now like to share five items from our shopping trolley.

1 x 250g Kenco Really Smooth Instant coffee.
20 x Tubes of Pringles*.
6 x 900g Tin of Cadbury’s Heroes
1 x 1ltr Smirnoff Red Label Vodka
1 x 1ltr Teachers Whiskey.

The coffee cost £2.49, the Pringles were £1 per tube, the Heroes were £5 per tin and the alcohol was £20 for the two (on offer).

In total (just those items) cost us £72.49.

In Tesco Ireland same items have a very different cost! The coffee is €4.50, the Pringles are €2.49, the Heroes are €12.49, the Vodka is €29.99 and the whisky is €22.49. There is no offer on the alcohol in Tesco Ireland.

That total would have been €181.72.

In sterling that’s £162.40. That’s a saving of £89.91 which is over €100!

Should we really shop in Tesco Ireland? I think not! This trip will now become a once-a-month spin. Not just for the shopping but so I can find my relatives!

* We bought 20 because they were so cheap!

My grandfather was an engineer in the Royal Air Force, stationed in Burma [...]]]> I have been watching the series Band of Brothers recently. A friend lent me the box-set after telling me how good he’d found it. I’m half way through and I’m throughly enjoying it but it’s had an interesting but welcoming effect.

My grandfather was an engineer in the Royal Air Force, stationed in Burma during the second world war. My mother has all his medals and somewhere, I don’t know where (yet), she has all the letters he sent his wife, my nan, during his time away. Sadly he died before I was born so I never got the chance to ask him about his war effort but I don’t think I’d have got much information anyway as mom always said that he wouldn’t talk about even when she asked. She’s read the letters he sent home and from what she’s told me Band of Brothers (although about the U.S. army and not the RAF) has it about right with regard to the friendships that grew and the hardships people went through.

Apparently in one of the letters my grandfather sent home he talks about a busy day maintaining aircraft. He recognised one of the aircraft as that flown by a pilot he’d become very friendly with. The engineers watched as the planes took off and hours later watched as they returned. Of course not all of them did, one of those was that of my grandfathers friend. In the letter he talks about how he can’t afford to mourn his loss or take time to grieve as to do so would cause more problems. They prayed at a Sunday service and they remembered their lost friends but still couldn’t mourn. He wasn’t alone in this apparently. No one mourned for fear of breakdowns and becoming unstable and unable to carry out duties. In the letter he talked about how his squadron will mourn as a group when they return.

During the last ten months my family and I have suffered so much loss (thankfully none for at least eight/nine weeks now!) but I cannot imagine being surrounded by it on a daily basis, even more so when I can’t mourn or grieve.

I once tried to join the RAF. I wanted to be a pilot. Not a fighter pilot, those kind of planes never interested me. I wanted to fly troop/tank carriers, the big buggers basically! I did an aptitude test, a medical and had an interview and at the end I got told my eyesight wasn’t good enough to be a pilot but looking at my results someone had decided I was perfectly suited to be an engineer! You can imagine how excited my mother was and how disappointed I was. I didn’t join up in the end, as I’m sure you’ve already worked out.

Having watched Band of Brothers, a series based on real events and real people (some of whom are interview at the beginning or each episode) I have a new found respect for the armed forces, then and now!

A friend I went to school with joined the Navy at sixteen and went out to the Gulf. He was on board the Ark Royal during the first Gulf War. He’ll never know the respect I have for him. Mainly because we don’t talk about more for reason I’m not going into but even though there is that wall between us my respect for him is higher now than it ever was. Another friend is currently (as far as I know) in Afghanistan. A place where 223 soldiers have died since 2001. He’s lost friends, people he cares for. He could be next. That thought scares me a lot!

I always buy a poppy and occasionally my nan (dad’s mom not mom’s mom) and I would attend the Remembrance Day service at the Garden of Remembrance where all our families ashes are scattered but I think this year, having watched Band of Brothers and talked more to my mom about my grandfather, I think it’ll mean more than it has in previous years. I know that’s wrong, I know I should have always had this respect and I think I have in someway, just not the right way and absolutely not enough.

These people fight for our freedom. They fight so I can enjoy my life. I may not agree with why we went to war in the Gulf, I may agree with Thatcher sinking the General Belgrano but no matter what I think these people, these members of the armed forces go into this career of their own free will. They make the choice to enlist and face the possibility of dying for their country.

To them, those from the past and those willing to serve in the future I say thank you. Thanks is all I can offer but if you’re passing I’ll pop the kettle on and I’m sure I could spare a biscuit or two.

And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon
Saint Crispin’s day.

William Shakespeare’s Henry V; Act IV, Scene 3

It’s a half hour American comedy from Showcase, the same people who bought you Dexter. I’ll be honest and say it’s not as enjoyable as the adverts made it out as there are certain parts that are quite [...]]]> Bert and I have been getting in to Nurse Jackie recently. If you’ll pardon the expression.

It’s a half hour American comedy from Showcase, the same people who bought you Dexter. I’ll be honest and say it’s not as enjoyable as the adverts made it out as there are certain parts that are quite sad but when it’s funny it’s fucking hilarious!

And here for your viewing pleasure is one of the funniest scenes I’ve seen on TV in a long while. Even though you know what’s coming it’s still fucking hysterical!

Enjoy!

Incident Number One So there I [...]]]> Reading Rampages post about being run over, other than making me worry about the little lambeen, it made me remember the times I ran over two people (separate incidents) and aimed at a third. You’d think I made a habit of it wouldn’t you?! I assure you I don’t!

Incident Number One
So there I am trundling along in my little 1963 Land Rover that didn’t go very fast. If you got above forty the whole thing shook until it felt like your eyes were melting.

Up ahead a bus had stopped to let it’s passengers off and as the road was clear I thought I’d over take. As I did a girl stepped out from the front of the bus, not looking where she was going, and I hit her. If you don’t included the bruising or damage to her pride she wasn’t really injured but there was a spectacular tyre mark up her tights.

She soon got up and appeared fine but the police had been called by this point so I was starting to panic. Thankfully she admitted it was all her fault and a couple of witnesses had backed me up. I was breathalysed, as per procedure, and given instructions to produce my driving license and insurance at the police station within fourteen days. The officer explained that there was nothing to worry about as she’d admitted fault and that the producer, like the breathalyser, was purely procedure.

Two days later I arrive at the police station with my documents and handed them over.

“You’re in trouble!” said the desk officer laughing.
“No I’m not!” I insisted.
“Oh yes you are!” he said chuckling.
“No I’m not, she admitted it was her fault!”
“Yeah you’re still in trouble.”
“Why?”
“The girl you hit was the sergeants daughter!”

Trying to be all brave and righteous I muttered something about it still being her fault but inside not only was I bawling my eyes out I was also preparing to spend the rest of my life getting ass-raped daily by Slasher Joyce my cell mate!

Thankfully a few weeks later I received a letter telling me the incident had been closed.

Incident Number Two
It was 1am and I’d just finished a radio show which had gone well and was giving my guest, who was a good friend, a lift home. We headed through the one-way road system of the town and chatted generally about how the show had gone and what feedback she could expect, as she was hoping to get a slot on the station.

Without warning a man ran out from a side street on the right and I swerved to avoid him, veering (over-compensating) to the left.

We both spouted out some kind of expletive and once we’d calmed down Emma asked “are you not going to stop?”
“What for?”
“That man!” she said.
“What man?”
“The man you just ran over!”
“I missed him!”
“No you didn’t! He was in the road! You went over him!”

I looked in my rear mirror and sure enough a different man was lying in the road. I think I shouted fuck or words to that effect but I couldn’t actually get out the car. I was quite sure he was dead.

I rang for an ambulance and explained what I’d done and asked them to send the police as well and it was the police who turned up first. I got out the car and headed over to them but kept my gaze away from ‘the body.’

“It’s me, I did it!” I said with my hands up as though they were going to shoot me.
“You did what?” the female officer asked.
“I ran over him!”
“What do you mean?” she asked.
“I hit him.”
“You hit him?”
“Yeah, with my car!”
“Hang on!” she said putting her hand up.

She called her partner over and explained to him what I’d said and he came over to talk to me.

“Sir, you say you hit him?” he said.
“Yes.”
“Just?”
“Yes!”
“Actually you just drove over his legs,” said Emma who was now out the car and at my side.
“Did I?”
“Oh yes, just his legs. He was already lying in the road!”
“And you didn’t see him?” asked the officer.
“No I didn’t! I’d swerved to miss a guy running out of Edington Street!”
“Right, miss,” he said talking to Emma, “can you drive his car round to the station please?”
“I suppose,” she said, “but I’m not too sure where it is.”
“You can follow us,” he turned to me, “sir can you get into this police car and go back to the station to answer some questions.”

As we pulled off I saw the ambulance turn up but I still couldn’t look at the body of the guy I’d just killed. At the station I was arrested and read my rights and then taken to an interview room, Emma was asked to wait in reception.

A few minutes later the female officer came in and started to ask me questions. She explained how everything was really a formality as, even though they hadn’t heard much of it, they fully believed my story and Emma had already given them a quick rundown (excuse the pun!) as well.

She breathalyser me, which was clear, and then wrote my statement out. It’s been too long to get anyone in trouble (because Staffordshire Police read my blog! – ha!) but she kind of lead me along, making sure there was no way I could get into trouble about it. In another room Emma was giving her statement but she didn’t mention the guy coming out from the right as she hadn’t seen him. This didn’t seem to matter.

Everything was going well. Too well. One thing confused me!

“Excuse me,” I said, “if you didn’t know what I was talking about when you turned up why were you there?”
“What do you mean?” asked the officer.
“I called you. I called the police to say I’d hit the man with my car but when you turned up you knew nothing about it!”
“Oh, we’d been called in for a riot in the chip shop!”

She continued telling me how they, two other cars and a van, had turned up to sort out a big drunken fight going on in the chip shop. The guy in the road had already had the crap beaten out of him and was lying half-in half-out the road with a dislocated shoulder. I just bounced over his legs!

I was relieved he wasn’t dead but now felt really guilty for breaking both his legs.

“Is he seriously hurt?” I asked.
“Who?”
“The man I hit!”
“Oh no! As soon as the ambulance turned up he got up and ran off!”

I never heard anything further from this one.

Incident Number Three
Dale, a best mate (and still so even after this!) was living with me on and off and I had to go away for the weekend.

I was in the process of sorting lots of things out and the house was a mess. It wouldn’t be an exaggeration to say that the only carpet visible in the dining room was a thin path from the kitchen to the lounge.

Dale was under strict instructions not to let Rachel in while I was away for the weekend. No matter what! There were two reasons behind this. One I won’t be going to and the other is just that I didn’t want her seeing the mess.

Back from my weekend away Dale, Rach and I were in the pub having a drink when one of them (I forget which) let it slip that Rach had been in the house that weekend as she needed to use the toilet. Rather than shout in the pub I got up, walked out and got into my car.

Dale came out and stood in front of the car, wanting to talk and explain. I was in no mood to listen so I started the engine and aimed for him.

Thankfully he moved out the way! I drove home, furious, but him and Rach followed me. While Rach sat in the car Dale and I sorted things out over a coffee on the back patio. I’m trying to make it sound posh but really it was just a little back yard. But it was nice!

I’m quite glad he jumped out the way really as he and Rach are the Heroes I talked about in Ma’s post months ago as they’re both paramedics, and very good ones at that!

Take the Seven Deadly Sins Quiz

It’s not that I’m unhappy with who I am now, far from it in fact, but through-out the years I’ve had many and various opportunities that I’ve turned down. I’ve been a part of [...]]]> I sometimes wonder if my life would be massively different if I made choices other than those I’d actually opted for.

It’s not that I’m unhappy with who I am now, far from it in fact, but through-out the years I’ve had many and various opportunities that I’ve turned down. I’ve been a part of things that I either got bored with or decided were’t going very far or I’ve stopped being part of something because something else came up that attracted me more.

I was once part of a stand-up comedy duo. A friend and I wrote our own routines, made our own props and became our own managers. I was the stooge and she was the straight-man, well straight-woman. We had a few gigs in various comedy clubs and actually did quite well even if I do say so myself. In the end my priorities changed and we called it a day. How far would we have got if we’d stayed together? Would we be on the big comedy circuit right now? I doubt it. There are too many good comedy acts out there, as good as we may have been I don’t think we’d have been one of them.

I met Jo through a radio station I used to work for. Jo used to do the mid-morning show on a Monday to Friday and I would do evenings from 8pm to 12am. Sometimes I’d engineer for Jo as she wasn’t fantastic at working the desk and couldn’t cue up an advert for love or money. In the end we got offered our own show on Saturday and Sunday mornings. We had a lot of fun and in part it was this that lead to our stand-up stuff but the radio station was changing and neither of us liked where it was going. Jo had her daytime show taken off her when the station was sold to one of the major media companies and her slot was given over to the new station manager. My slot was changed from 7-10pm and Jo & I lost our Sunday. Jo was the best interviewer the station had and taking her away from the mid-morning show, our 3rd most popular show, was stupid. Jo left soon after and no one could blame her. I haven’t spoken to her in fourteen years. I wonder what she’s up to now.

I used to play rugby for the school. If I’d have carried it on would I be some hulking great rugby player now or would I be sat next to Martin Johnson as a pundit talking about the game we’d just watched. At my mothers house, tucked away at the back of a cupboard I have a medal for playing for playing for the school. I wonder if it’s worth wearing it when Brad and I get married, you know how service men wear their uniform and medals. Maybe I should turn up in rugby gear.

There are many other things I’ve done that I could have done differently and many other opportunities that maybe shouldn’t have been ignored but I am quite happy where I am thank you. Look at what I’ve got! How could I not be happy?

What we have learnt over two days could have been taught in half a day. We were basically taught how to fill in a work [...]]]> As some of you will know I’m a course through work. This course has eight modules to it and yesterday and today we began Module Two. Intellectual Disability Studies.

What we have learnt over two days could have been taught in half a day. We were basically taught how to fill in a work book. A work book that comes with a second book. The second book teaches you how to fill in the work book.

This is why I’ve had to suffer a tax increase and pension levy! A pension levy that only health workers, teachers and the guards are having by the way! Why only us? Because we’re public servants and our job is secure! No it fucking isn’t! My job is just as at risk as those in the private sector! Wankers!

Anyway, aside from spending the 1st morning filling a page with stars we did actually learn a few things. Nothing eligible for work or the course but still learning is learning.

I have learnt that some people who work in our industry are judgemental bastards who may not harm a client or service user but given one story I’ve heard I have to wonder what psychological damage they are doing! Thankfully this is no one in our service!

I have learnt that he who shouts loudest wins. Wrong but true.

I have learnt that my manager, even with his faults, is far superior to others and I’m damn lucky!

All the names have been changed in the following stories.

Story One

Patrick works in a different county for a similar organisation. Every day he deals with young adults who need support due to a learning difficult or physical disability. A few weeks ago he headed off on a train to visit some friends. He told us this story:

“While waiting for the train two guys went passed me in wheelchairs. A train came in, not mine by the way, people got off and some got on and then it left. The two guys in the wheelchairs didn’t get on. They head off the platform and as they passed me I said about how disgusting it is that they couldn’t get on the train. They said they didn’t want to they just waiting for someone and I said sorry as they head off. The next train comes in, again not mine, and a girl in a wheelchair gets off. She looks around as though lost and confused and I assume she’s looking for the two guys. I head over to her and say “Your friends have just gone down there,” and I point off the platform.
“What?” she asks.
“Your friends. The two guys. They head off the platform. I think they’re over there,” I tell her.
“I’m sorry I don’t understand.”
“Are you looking for two men in wheelchairs?”
“No!”
“Then why do you look so lost and confused?”
“I’ve got off at the wrong fucking stop!”
As I sat back down I saw the two guys on the other platform talking with a man who just got off the train.”

When Patrick told his story the people sat around him in the lecture room actually laughed but talking to one of the other girls we were both amazed at his attitude. He’d made two incorrect assumptions that if he’d made at work he’d be reprimanded for. First off why assume that the guys couldn’t get on the train just because they didn’t? He didn’t get on two trains! Should we assume he was stuck to his seat? Secondly how dare he assume that because she was in wheelchair she must be meeting the other guys!

Now, for someone who has never worked with anyone with any form of disability or had any connection with anyone with that background I can kind of understand how that assumption might be made and I’d be forgiving but this guy works with people who need support due to a disability! He should know better! How does he still have a job?

Story Two
Janet, like Patrick, works in a similar field with a similar client base in a residential house in a different county for a different organisation. There they have someone who goes home one weekend a year. The family have applied for a grant for an extension to their house so they are better equipped to cope with this resident when he goes home. He goes home without support! I don’t mean that they kick him out the door and say “Seeya Monday!” but I mean that no staff stay with him. He has a sufficient level of independence and enough family support to cope without staff. So, one weekend a month a year he goes and home and the family are applying for a grant to deal with that weekend better. A grant of €35′000 has been approved.

Questions:
1. Have assessments been done of the family home to see if it’s already suitable?
2. Have the family been assessed to see how good the family support is?
3. Has the awarding body seen the plans of the current home?
4. Has the awarding body seen the plans of the proposed extension?
5. Will the family take the client, their son, for more weekends once extension is built?
6. Has the client been asked if he wants to go home more than one weekend a year?
7. Has the client been asked if he wants to stay in a purpose built extension?
8. Has the client been consulted at all with regard to any of this.

The answer to all of these questions is the same. No.

Why is Janet not speaking up? If this family are getting the extension they should be able to care for the relatives themselves. From the way she spoke it sounds like he is independent enough to look after his own hygiene needs and can even make himself meals and drinks he just needs support in certain areas that even the most basic family could cope with – especially with a €35k extension!

Yet another reason why my wage packet has gone down by over 10% since April and will go down again as of October!

Story Three

Tommy used to work on the docks works in a similar environment to Janet and Patrick. His manager insisted that one of their clients be given a mobile phone and taught how to use it. Tommy argued there was no need but the manager forced his hand. Given how many times the client uses the house phone it was deemed that €10 credit a week would be plenty and the client was taught how to use it and how to top it up. Everything went swimmingly. The client knew how to use the phone and how to top up and knew that €10 a week was plenty. Six months later a review takes place, as it does with our service users as well.
“And how is he getting on with the mobile phone?” asks the manager.
“Oh fine. He puts his €10 credit on every Friday and that lasts him the week,” replies Tommy.
“Can I see the phone?” asks the manager.
Tommy goes and collects it and hands it to the manager.
“How do I get the balance up?” he asks.
“I’m not sure,” replies Tommy, “why?” “It’s mid week, I just want to see if he uses it all by the weekend and has nothing for the week.”
Eventually they work out how to get a credit balance. The balance is €236 euros. It would appear the client never uses it. There are only four calls in the call log, all to the house phone, all dated six months ago when Tommy was teaching the client how to use the phone. The client thinks that whether the phone is used or not he has to put €10 on it.

Whether you are dealing with someone with learning difficulties or not there is a simple thing you can do to make the person feel respected. Ask!

It doesn’t matter if the person has a diagnosis of Autism, Asperger Syndrome, Fragile X, ABI or self-diagnosed fake bi-polar! You still ask, you don’t decide for them! Even when you know they can’t make the decision themselves you still go through the motions of asking because this could be the one time they know what they want and are capable of deciding! If I asked one of our service users if he wanted to get on the bus with another service user he’d say no! He’d flatly refuse! He knows his mind. He knows if he wants tea or coffee, cheese or ham and he knows what clothes he wants to wear. I don’t make these choices for him. He makes them. He makes them because I ask him to!

Now the client Tommy was dealing with was even more capable of making his own choices than the lads I deal with. Our lads couldn’t have a mobile phone. Three of them can’t verbally communicate well enough and the other wouldn’t be able to learn how to use it. The manager was at fault in Tommy’s story and he should have been reprimanded for it. I agree that Tommy is partially to blame for this as he obviously didn’t teach the client correctly but did anyone ask him if he wanted a mobile phone? No they didn’t! The manager just decided to do it one day and no one could argue about it. With that in mind why did Tommy have to pay the client back €230? Just tell the client to start using the phone to use up the credit and stop paying €10 a week! Tommy argued but was told either pay it back or they’ll take out his wages.

Fucking managers!

With what I’ve heard over the last two days I can honestly say the place I work in is fantastic. No, I’m not saying that’s because of me, but yes I am going to take a small bit of that credit. The staff (99% of them!) are damn good at their jobs and they need telling that! Maybe it’s the training we’ve had, maybe it’s the support we get, either way I could happily assure all our families that their loved ones get the best care. Christ, we put up with beatings and go back for more! We get covered in shit and don’t quit! We spend our own money on the lads and give up our own time to go out with them and not get paid for it.

We rule!

Right now I’m on a course through work and during some group work, when we’d actually finished doing the work, me and another guy on the course got to talk about lunch and what we were planning on eating. One thing lead to another and we started talking about the things [...]]]> Sometimes I get bored.

Right now I’m on a course through work and during some group work, when we’d actually finished doing the work, me and another guy on the course got to talk about lunch and what we were planning on eating. One thing lead to another and we started talking about the things we had eaten in the past.

So as I’m as bored as hell here are some facts about semen.

Semen Facts:

- It can stain. Always wash in COLD water.

- A black light will show semen.

- A single ejaculation has an average of 200-500 million sperm in it.

- Semen is okay if you are on the Atkins diet.

- The average speed of a shooting ejaculation is 23 mph.

- A woman’s mood can be elevated to ‘happy’ by frequent exposure to semen.

- Pineapple, watermelon, cranberries, and sweet fruit can improve the taste of semen.

- Semen is usually a cloudy white fluid that within 30 minutes becomes runny and clear.

- A chlorine type smell in semen is normal.

- The taste is slightly sweet due to fructose.

- The taste of semen tends to change slightly from person to person.

- A study conducted by American scientists in Newscientists.com among 30,000 men over eight years found those that ejaculated most frequently have had significantly less chances of getting prostate cancer.

- Semen contains small amounts of more than thirty elements, including fructose, ascorbic acid, cholesterol, creatine, citric acid, lactic acid, nitrogen, vitamin B12, and various salts and enzymes.

- Blue whales produce four hundred gallons of semen with each ejaculation.

Today I’m off to view the venue for my 40th birthday in 2013. Yes I’m planning well in advance but I want it at the Galway Bay Hotel and it gets booked up REALLY quickly. So quickly in fact that the date I want (June 1st) is already pencilled in for someone [...]]]>

Today I’m off to view the venue for my 40th birthday in 2013. Yes I’m planning well in advance but I want it at the Galway Bay Hotel and it gets booked up REALLY quickly. So quickly in fact that the date I want (June 1st) is already pencilled in for someone else, two people in fact, but she’s going to contact them and see if they really want it or not.

So for your information..

Quite literally EVERYONE is invited. If you can read this then you’re invited. Now although you’re invited you will need a ticket. I need to know numbers for the caterers so I’m going to give out tickets rather than invites that way I can know who and how many are coming and I can stop gate-crashers. Yes, you will need a ticket to get in. No ticket, no party. Harsh, maybe but I’m paying a fortune for this place and the food and the entertainment so I think I’m entitled.

Well more details on how to get a ticket and all that will be available shortly but I’m off to look at the room now! Oooh excited!

Number One – I didn’t give the video that title. Number Two – That’s Galway that is!

I did have a clear idea in my head but then I started reading a few blogs and realised that if I wrote what I wanted to write I’d upset a few people and I didn’t want to do that. [...]]]> I’ve sat here for the last ten minutes trying to work out what to blog about.

I did have a clear idea in my head but then I started reading a few blogs and realised that if I wrote what I wanted to write I’d upset a few people and I didn’t want to do that. I know it sometimes looks like I’m out to offend everyone possible but that’s just not true. There are some people, some bloggers in fact, I’m quite happy to offend – anything that moves them further away from this blogging site is good for me – but I don’t want to write something that may annoy friends or people I think a lot of. Especially when intonation can often be difficult to show in a block of text. I suppose I could tell you what I’ve been up to this week? Well, since I last blogged anyway.

Monday, our two year “living in Ireland” anniversary I did nothing but play World of Warcraft. I could have dome something more constructive but I didn’t.

Tuesday I was in work all day. It was the 40th birthday of one of the residents in another unit and he was having a party in a local pub. Although all our lads were invited they weren’t all going. Only one of them went in fact and I took him down there, walking instead of getting the bus. He had a good time, seemed to enjoy the music and the atmosphere and was golden on the walk back. More staff should interact with him like this but they don’t and I really couldn’t tell you why.

Wednesday I started my course that work have sent me on. It was interesting enough and I knew a few people there but a lot of the content is stuff I’ve done before in one life or another. Still, I’ll come out of it with a nice qualification at the end.

Thursday I was off so I spent the day working on my web site and getting very frustrated with technology. One minute everything works fine, then next it decides to get up and walk out the room leaving me wondering what the fuck is going on! Technology can be like that. I’m still not sure who’s fault the failures are but I know it’s not mine or Brad. This is all down to the hosting company and ex-hosting company of our web domains. One is great but can’t do much until the other, which is shit, gets doing as they promised.

Friday, today, I’ve had to call in sick to work I woke up with a pounding head. I woke up the first time at 4am and then again 6.30am and stayed wake then. I’m doing that a lot recently. Not sleeping and waking early that is. I did think that I wasn’t sleeping because of the attack at work playing on my mind but since the meeting I’ve felt a lot better about all that so I really don’t think it’s that. I’m sure it’ll come out eventually whatever it is. The last thing I want to do is start worrying about what is worrying me!

I’m off work tomorrow and Sunday but I have a project to work on for this course. I have to give a five minute presentation on anything I like as long as I can connect it to work. I’ve chosen sign language as I know enough about it and I can easily relate it to work. One of the ideas I’ve had is to actually sign the first two minutes or so of the presentation and use powerpoint to project subtitles and images etc. What do you think?

Well Bert is cooking a nommy nommy chilli for our evening meal so I’m going to go now and see how far he’s got and what time it’ll be ready.

TTFN

In the last two years I have:

- Not been offered jobs I was suitable for. - Been offered jobs I didn’t want. - Seen Brad lose his job. - Had a car breakdown on my three times within a month. - Been attacked at work around twelve times. - Been injured at work causing a [...]]]>

In the last two years I have:

- Not been offered jobs I was suitable for.
- Been offered jobs I didn’t want.
- Seen Brad lose his job.
- Had a car breakdown on my three times within a month.
- Been attacked at work around twelve times.
- Been injured at work causing a hospital or doctor visit three times.
- Been disappointed by the ideal (or so we thought) house falling through.
- Sold a car and bought a car.
- Swapped a car.
- Had suspected viral meningitis which turned out to be two different things which together show all the symptoms.
- Made some great friends online and off.
- Been to Berlin twice.
- Travelled back and forth to the UK for one reason or another.
- Got to Level 80 in World of Warcraft.
- Seen my friends and family have babies.
- Seen my friends and family get married.
- Seen my friends and family die.
- Eaten just under a tonne of food.
- Slept approximately for 3650 hours.
- Watched every episode of Buffy, House, Supernatural, Fringe, Harpers Island, Prison Break, Heroes, Dexter and Ugly Betty.
- Got two years older.
- Lived in three different houses.

The most important thing I did in the last two years actually happened on this very day two years. At 9.30am Brad and I set off in two cars packed with animals, plants and valuables to start our new life in Galway.

It’s been fantastic.

Happy Anniversary to us

With this in mind I was content in the knowledge that if we left at 10:45pm we’d get to the airport in plenty of time. You can [...]]]> “How long will it take to get to the airport from here?”
“Forty-five minutes usually but as you don’t know the road I’d give it an hour.”

With this in mind I was content in the knowledge that if we left at 10:45pm we’d get to the airport in plenty of time. You can imagine the state I was in when at 11pm Brad was still munching away at steak/chop/kebab (delete as appropriate) from the barbecue and telling me not to worry and that we had plenty of time.

We did, but not because he said so, but because the flight was delayed. It seems every Ryanair flight anyone goes on, other than us, is delayed. Ours is always early or on time but never late.

I love meeting people at the airport. Seeing all the human interaction and knowing I’m going to be part of it soon. Seeing people smile as they step out of arrivals into the arms of a loved on. Seeing people nod as they see a sign with their name on and know they car must be for them.

Mostly I love it because it means people are coming to visit and I love it when then happens. Even when its people you haven’t seen for a while, years in fact, friends who you really care for but for one reason or another you don’t see as often as you should, if at all in some cases!

I’ve often found it remarkable how friendships built on one common interest can grow.

I joined blog many moons ago (when the “made by you” was “beta” and I was a founder member not a pro!) and began adding people to my friends list. They were only online friends though, not real people, so if I never blogged again it didn’t matter. Then we got that step closer in AIM or MSN or GoogleChat and these people became semi-real. They were still only virtual friends and although I was growing quite fond of some of them they were still strangers to me who I only knew through blog.

Then I exchanged contact details with one of these virtual people! He gave me his phone number so I gave him mine. As nervous as I was it still didn’t matter as he was still only a virtual person. Someone who was never going to ring as in the real world he didn’t exist.

This changed when I looked at the screen and saw “I’m calling” in the chat window. I held my phone in my hand and suddenly got all nervous. “Brad, you know that scouser from blog, the one from the Wirral, writes for the metro or some other free rag up there?”
“Yeah,” came his reply.
“He’s about to call me!”

Before the conversation could continue the phone was ringing. I was half tempted to hang up and then type a chat massage to him saying something like “sorry, foster kids need me!” or something like that but instead I actually answered. What’s the worse that could happen? We could actually become friends (lovers in the future x) and call each other again? We might meet? He was still going to be a virtual friend, he was still going to be that scally from blog!

A while later I made the mistake decision of doing an open blog invitation to my final birthday celebrations while living the UK. A few bloggers actually took me up on the invite. My real friends, those not virtual as the bloggers were/are, thought we were all swingers from some internet porn site but in reality we were a group of people with that one common interest.

These people, the scally included (who had an incredibly beautiful woman with him and I’ve still no idea how he managed that one!), suddenly became real. I’d read all about them, spoken to them on the phone, exchanged emails but now they were sat in front of me.

Things on blog really changed then. The people I was reading about became actual people. There were real, they had substance and I was beginning to feel ever closer to them. They, and others, became real friends.

“But how do you know them?” she’d ask.
“Through blog mother, we all blog together!” I reply.
“Well that just sounds mucky!”
“It’s a diary mother, an online diary and people read it.”
“Could I read it?”
“You could but you might not want to.”
“And you all know each other from there?”
“Yes.”
“Do you swap pictures and stuff?”
“No, I post a picture and people can look at it.”
“Not naughty I hope!”
“No mother!”
“I don’t get it!”

And she doesn’t and probably never will but she does read now and then.

“Who is Nici and K?” she asked.
“Friends,” I replied.
“Well I gathered that but who are they, you’ve not talked about them before.”
“I’ve talked about Nici mother. Abi. The american.”
“The one with the whip?”
“Yes.”
“Didn’t you do something with her on that site once?”
“I changed her blog design mother, that’s as far as it goes!”
“And they’re coming over?”
“Yes.”
“Well that’ll be lovely for you.”

She’s trying to be nice but she still doesn’t understand and never will and when father asks how I am she’ll say “don’t ask Roger, you won’t like it.”

We got to the airport in just as the plane was due to land but it was late so we actually had time to grab a drink. Unfortunately all the shops had shut and the machines didn’t take notes! Damn it!

We didn’t have to wait long before Nici & K arrived as as we hugged not only was a warming and heartfelt it was also like it had only been a couple of weeks since we last saw each and not a few years. I felt the same when giving K a hug and this was the first time I’d ever met her!

Once home we cracked open a bottle of wine and it was gone 4am before we finally went to bed after much catching up, getting-to-know-yous, and just general fun and chat.

Saturday saw us have a very lazy morning around the house and after a massive lunch of st

uff and salad we headed into Galway.

We forced the girls to kick the wall but they had to watch others do it before they did just in case they thought we were conning them into something and then we headed into town for drinkies. Galway Pride was on and all six people people turn up for it. Drinks in the Quays, where Nick tried her first ever Guinness which wasn’t up to standard, then a walk back to the car and off to the Duggans.
After coffee and cooing over Ruaidhrí we headed back home.

Brad cooked us all steak. Well, he didn’t cook mine but then again you don’t need to. With my steak you just wave it over the pan a little and then throw it on the plate.

More drinking and conversation and bedtime at some ungodly hour but all very much worth it.

Heading back to the airport on Sunday I think I was the only one who didn’t have a hangover but I wasn’t the only one who didn’t think we’d make it in time! Damn weather, funerals and traffic!

All in all the weekend was fantastic. It was wonderful seeing Nici again and meeting K. They are both lovely people. I’m a little annoyed that they didn’t take either of the cats as promised but there is a box in the hall, miaowing, that I really must post at some point!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer the following questions. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Repost as “my life according to (band/musician name)”

Pick your Artist:
 Erasure

Are you a male or female? Boy

Describe yourself:
 Drama

How do you feel? [...]]]> As seen here!

Using only song names from ONE ARTIST, answer the following questions. You can’t use the band I used. Try not to repeat a song title. Repost as “my life according to (band/musician name)”

Pick your Artist:
 Erasure

Are you a male or female?
Boy

Describe yourself:

Drama

How do you feel?
Too Darn Hot

Describe where you currently live:

Home

If you could go anywhere, where would you go?
The Circus

Your favorite form of transportation:
Ship of Fools

Your best friend is:

Brother and sister

What’s the weather like?
Rain

Favourite time of day:
I love Saturday

If your life was a TV show, what would it be called?

Perfect Stranger

What is life to you?

Tenderest Moments

Your fear:
Victim of Love

But I do.

I know who I’m on with and I trust them implicitly, which makes a massive difference, I just don’t think I want to go in.

Oh well.

Bert actually got up when I ask him to and before long we were downstairs having breakfast. We’d worked out how much [...]]]> The day started well but given the hangover I’d had the day before unless I’d suddenly come down with the plague I was bound to feel better. Unfortunately the day wouldn’t remain so good.

Bert actually got up when I ask him to and before long we were downstairs having breakfast. We’d worked out how much we’d got left in sterling so the decision was made to fill up on breakfast so the next meal we’d need to eat would be just before we got to the airport.

Back in the room we packed up as quickly as we could and decided we’d walk to the local station and get the train to take us one stop down the line to Hull’s main station. Plans changed when we found a bus station on the same commercial complex as the hotel! This took us straight to the station in Hull.

As with our outbound journey our train tickets weren’t for the train we were about to catch but it didn’t matter. We’d paid full fair so it’s not as though we were travelling illegally and Laura had never had her tickets checked and neither did we on the way into Hull. The train pulled out the station and within seconds we heard the guard shout “tickets please!”

The guard pointed out that our tickets weren’t for travel on this train and Brad, doing all the talking as ordered by me, explained that we didn’t think it matter as we’d paid a fare anyway. We had two options. No.1. Pay a small fortune for two single tickets at full price into Manchester or No.2. get off at the next station, Brough.

An hour later, after I’d walked the length of the platform a few times, then the other platform, watched five trains come through the station, taken pictures and listened to camp classics we decided to take a walk into the town. Well actually I decided to go for a walk to small cafe/shop I could see just across from the station to go and get come drinks for us and Brad decided he’d come with. The cafe turned out to be a chinese take-away called the Station Supper Bar, worse still it was closed. This meant a walk into town which wasn’t too daunting as we were at a train station. Surely if you’re at a train station there has to be a small village or town centre nearby. Wrong! Fifteen minutes and four pubs later there was still no sign of a village centre and I was starting to think we’d been walking out of town rather than in. All we wanted was a newsagent we could get a bottle of coke, a chocolate bar and a newspaper.

Another fifteen minutes and finally we could see some shops on the horizon! Okay that’s not strictly true! First of all we couldn’t see the shops we could see the edge of a car park and secondly it wasn’t on the horizon. My pace increased slightly, if that was possible, as my excitement grew at the though of finally getting a coke and maybe a Mars bar! I was also excited about seeing civilisation which was just as well as that was all we got!

A florist, a bookies, a post office, a couple of estates, an architects and some nice benches and flower beds! No fucking newsagent! A Spar would have done. I’d even have paid the exorbitant prices in a Co-op by this point. Thankfully in the distance we spotted a bigger car park which could have been another set of shops and surely there must have been a newsagents there!

For once success was ours! There was more than a newsagent! There was a Morrisons! My distaste for Morrisons is on par with that of Kwik Save, Aldi, Lidl’s and buses but by this point I’d have drank the piss from a sweaty dog I was that thirsty! Two two-litre bottles of shite and a twix later we were heading back to the train station happy in the knowledge that I’d had a drink and some chocolate and a toy and the next train to come in would be ours! No eye candy on this trip just a guy being too loud on his phone and then coughing beer all of the seat but thankfully we soon pulled into Manchester Piccadilly.

Thanks to the delay at Brough we’d have to get the train straight to the airport to make sure we got there on time. Sitting upstairs in the departure lounge we bought coffees that we could refill as many times as wanted just in case we were delayed. As luck would have it we weren’t. Of course our luck wouldn’t hold out.

As we boarded the plane and grabbed the emergency exit seats I saw a familiar flash of black and green. The same fucking basketball team that was on the flight out was on our flight back. A million under-15’s trying to get into a plane made for four! I don’t so much mind the kids, although these ones were quite noisy, but it’s the useless parents and guardians who don’t keep them under control that’s more annoying. They seem to encourage it! I’m sure I heard one of the mothers say “yes darling, you run up and down the aisle as we take off and here’s €100, go get yourself a vodka and coke!”

Every five minutes or so the cabin crew would ask people to move down the plane and find a vacant seat so ignoring all the signs the kids took up the spare seats in the emergency exit rows. There are signs clearly stating that you have to be over eighteen to sit in these seats, which is an added bonus as far as I’m concerned, but the parents were ignoring this and telling kids to sit in the seats. And yes, there were ignoring them. How do I I? How can I be so sure that they’d seen the signs? Because Bert and I pointed it out to them! I desperately wanted to shout “told you so!” when the cabin crew moved them on!

This left two empty seats behind us which soon filled by a very snobby old bitch (very much like myself) who wasn’t at all happy that she was travelling with Ryanair. My consolation, and yes I am that bitter was that her husband had no choice but to put their bags in the only available locker space, one at the front and one at the back, which meant they’d be last off. To make matters worse she put her jacket on the back of Bert’s chair. This usually wouldn’t be a problem but she was very snooty and made no attempt to ask if he minded, which he did! So he put his back constantly wiping his dandruff on her collar and any creatures living in his hair. To be honest I think he came off worse with the bugs off her collar now in his hair.

Now, as most of you know I have a small passion for planes which has lead to me knowing a little bit about the process of landing. Not only that but coming into Shannon so many times gives you an idea of where you should be at what point. As the pilot announced “seats for landing” I knew we were too high and going too fast. What made things worse was that Bert knew it as well.

Once we’d bounced down the runaway the pilot finally managed to stop just short of the end, something that never happens at Shannon (well not to us!) and had to do a u-turn to head back to the taxi-way. This is the second time we’d bounced down the runway (the first time he managed to turn into the taxi way miles away from the end of the runway thankfully!) and just like then as we got off the landing gear was surround by official looking people all rubbing their head or holding their chin in their hands and going “hmmmm!”

A short walk to the car, an hours drive to Claregalway and we were soon in bed at the Dugggans who’d offered us a bed rather than go home and go back the next day to collect the animals. I slept well that night. Thankful to be home but filled with some great memories.

All in all I’d say we had a very successful trip. Of course I’m ignoring all the hiccups as in the grand scheme of things they just made the trip an adventure. Many thanks to Row for a wonderful Friday night, Laura and to everyone else for a wonderful Saturday night and Brad for a wonderful Sunday. I met some great people on the trip. I also ate too much, drank too much, was filmed too much, smoked too much, walked too much but all of it was very very much worth it.

Hopefully I’ll see you soon!