It’s pissing it down here and in an hour or so I’m driving to Dublin.

Most of the roads are flooded or flooding but it won’t matter as I’m in a big 4×4.

A 4×4 that has no heater.

A 4×4 that has a slow puncture on one tyre and no spare as that’s already in use.

A 4×4 that in January broke down with a dodgy starter motor.

In February it broke down because the battery was old and wouldn’t hold a charge.

In March it broke down because the alternator broke.

In April it broke down because a water pipe blew off the engine.

In May it broke down because a water pipe blew off the engine.

In June it broke down because the cylinder head gasket was shot, as was the radiator.

In July it broke down because another pipe blew off the engine.

Until Tuesday it had rarely moved since July.

On Tuesday the AA had to come out and start it.

As we left the house it sounded… rough.

As we got to the end of the road more steam was coming out the engine.

At the garage they told us the engine block has a crack.

They’ve taken the thermostat out so we can drive to Dublin to get the ferry crossing.

A ferry crossing that earlier today was cancelled due to adverse weather.

So, I’m driving to Dublin in a car that won’t work to catch a ferry that’s been cancelled.

There is something very wrong with this.

Some of you will be aware that a couple weeks ago I got me a new car.

So the whole “spur of the moment” thing was, as you know, to go buy Brad a car.

And here it is…

It’s a baby version of mine.

We decided not to take Brad’s car to Ireland with us. We were just going to sell it.

But… the more I thought about the more I wanted him to take a car over.

But… his car is off the road and it’s not worth fixing.

So… I’ve been looking for something small and compact but nice an good for him.

Now… daddy buys and sells cars but as he wants to teach his son (me) a lesson he rarely gives money off or lets pay in instalments for nice bigger cars that I can afford.

So… I buy the local paper and find a car. Agree to go and see it at 3pm.

Then… I ring daddy and tell him about it to get his opinion.

He… said “Give me the money and I’ll help you rip it! Big waste of money! You should have the little thing I’ve got on the drive!”

But… you said I couldn’t pay installments! Arrrgghhhh

So… after conversations back and forth and going mental at him on the phone it’s finally a done deal and we’re travelling up to Birmingham tonight to go and get Brad’s shiny new Vitara.

After all the cock juggling thunder cunting hassle with getting the mini-bus through it’s MOT I now find I have to have the car done…

By Friday…

Fuck!