Well look at that! I’ve been away quite a while haven’t I?

Sorry. Not sure why I haven’t been around. What’s worse is that I’m not sure I care.

I guess other things in my life have taken over, maybe become more important.

As those of you who read Brad’s blog will know we’ve had some sad times recently with the loss of Jesse, Helen & MJ’s gorgeous black lab. She was only two years old and it was quite difficult to deal with. There really was no point me trying to put on a brave face because when it comes to death, especially the death of beloved animal, my brave face involves lots of crying, snot and a conversation that makes no sense in structure or sound.

I was apart from the man on Valentines day but he did me a lovely video and I’d hidden a card for him by the Love Actually DVD in our collection. We don’t buy for each other. We did the first year but haven’t since then. It was horrible being away from him on that day. I know essentially it’s just another day but I’ve always liked the fact that we’ve been together for all of them. Now that record is a little tarnished. I didn’t really have much choice though as I had to go to the UK to collect a car. A Vauxhall Vectra. It’s nice enough but I’ll only be keeping it for a few months. I really can’t be bothered going in to the why’s etc.

In other news we move house one week tomorrow. We decided that our three bedroom house really was too big for just the two of us, even if it was extremely useful when the in-laws all come over. So we decided to down-size… to a MASSIVE five bedroom mansion! My dad told me we should go for a small three up-two down place. Well we have. There are three bedrooms upstairs and two downstairs. We have four damn toilets! Only three of the toilets actually work, as I found out to my horror after I’d taken a dump in the faulty one!

Once we’re in there properly, with all our furniture, I’ll post a little video of the house, MTV Cribs-esque, so you can see it. For those of you that haven’t seen the house we’re in now you have seven days before the furniture is gone but you have until the 28th March before we give the keys back.

I’m sure I have other news but right now I need to go and get a coffee. I’ve been awake since 5.30am which is my own fault as I got drunk yesterday afternoon and was in bed by…. erm… actually I don’t know what time I was in bed. I remember Brad talking about going to bed to watch a film but I don’t actually remember getting into bed or even watching anything on the television, let alone a film. So, although the head isn’t as bad as it should be, I do desperately want a coffee.

P.S. While we move I’m off the diet but in four weeks I lost 2st 3lb. Go me!

Arriving at Mrs Dietwoman’s house this afternoon I was a little worried about what she was going to tell me.

“So how was this week?” she asked, as she does every week.
“Not good,” I said, “I’ve kind of cheated twice.”
“How do mean cheated?”
“Well I had two meals out.”

She frowned a little but more so because she’d already told me that I’m allowed to break the diet if I want to as I’d still have lost weight if I’ve stuck to it the rest of week.

I explained to her about my parents coming to Dublin on Wednesday and we’d have a meal out. I told her about the half of a baguette I had while waiting for them at the airport. I then told her about the sunday dinner I had yesterday. I didn’t tell her about the fruit salad and ice-cream I had after dinner or about the one rich tea biscuit I stole last night while every one was having tea or coffee.

“Well, as I said to you at the first appointment, life goes on. Now lets weigh you and see what’s happened,” she said.
“Don’t be surprised if I’ve only lost 2lb or even put 2lb back on!” I replied.

So onto the scales I stepped, all worried and nervous about what she’d say. So much so that I couldn’t actually look down.

She looked at the scales, looked at me, looked back at the scales and then she looked at me again and smiled.

“You’ve lost 7lb.”
“What?” I said, astounded.
“You’ve lost 7lb. So lets see, in total so far you’ve lost,” she paused to work it out, “2st 1lb.”

I sat down, amazed I’d lost anything and even more amazed I’d lost that much!

So I’m not 2st 1lb lighter than I was this time three weeks ago. Holy fuck! I’m still in shock and still over the fucking moon!

I’m nearly halfway to my goal weight!

Shit!

Apologies for the lack of updates recently.

I’ve been incredibly snowed under with stuff at home and at work. I’m on this course (as most of you know) through work and the workload for me is a lot so I’d hate to think what it’s like for those people on the course who have kids to look after as well!

Mind you, I shouldn’t complain. I’ve had two sets of results so far, both distinctions, and have been told I’m on my way for another distinction in the current module I’m doing. I don’t expect to get a distinction in two of the modules as I hate the lecturer, as do we all, and it would appear she’s lost one of my assignments which I now have to reprint and hand in again!

So on the weight front things are going FANTASTICALLY well!

Week one I lost 12lb and then in week two I lost 6lb. I think I’ll have lost 3lb on week three and not because I’m having it again but because I had a night off yesterday. When I saw Mrs Dietwoman I asked her about what I should do if I was invited out for a meal and she said (and I quote) “for God’s sake! Life goes on! If you want to go out for a meal then go out! Just try to eat sensibly and how I told you. You’ll still have lost weight as you’ll have stuck to the diet for the rest of the week, just not as much as you would have! Go out. Enjoy yourself!”

Well my parents came to Dublin yesterday to watch a football match, bringing with them my aunt and uncle who live in Australia. It was there grandson playing in the football match. I haven’t seen them in eighteen years and as much as my father protested at us travelling all that way to see them I had to really. They’d come halfway round the world so it wasn’t going to take much effect for me to drive 200km to see them!

Anyway it was because of this trip that I broke my diet. We all went out for a meal to an excellent restaurant called Le Bon Crubeen in Dublin. The menu actually had a low-calorie option which I chose but not just because it was low in calories but because it sounded gorgeous. Lemon & Thyme grilled chicken on a bed of spinach and red onion salad with chick peas and olives. I don’t actually remember seeing any olives which was fine as I hate them. When I started the diet Mrs Dietwoman told me that as my stomach got smaller I’d want smaller portions. Well I actually ended up leaving half of it! This is like me at all. I was also the last to finish whereas usually I’d have wolfed the whole lot down and then asked for a pud!

At the airport while waiting for them to arrive we treated ourselves to a baguette and coffee. Rather than a baguette each, which would be normal for me, we had one and split it. Again I was still eating long after Brad had finished and by the end of it I was full! Me! Full on on half a baguette! Will wonders never cease?

I’ve also found I need a belt! I’m starting to pull my jeans up more and yesterday I even got into a pair of jeans I’ve never been able to get in to. They were given as a gift before you think I randomly go out and buy jeans in smaller sizes!

So all in all the last few weeks have been tremendous. 18lb’s in weight lost, fitting in new jeans, seeing my aunt & uncle and parents, getting fit and two distinctions!

I told you 2010 was my year!

On Monday when I say Mrs. Dietwoman she told me that the first and second day would be the hardest. If that’s true then tomorrow should be dead easy!

Today has been harder than yesterday but then again I wasn’t at work yesterday I was on my course. Today I made breakfast for the lads and the temptation to have some toast was damn strong! The smell of the bread toasting, the butter melting on it and the crunch as I cut the slice in half all made the idea of one piece of toast seem perfectly naturally. ‘No one is ever going to know’ I thought. Of course, I would. I’d have known. It was only the fact that I managed yesterday that actually stopped me from eating it.

Those thoughts also stopped me eating curry at lunchtime, crepe’s and fresh cream from the fridge, Tayto’s in the cupboard and spring rolls in the evening.

I don’t actually have a lot in my life to be proud of, and that’s not a call for comments of encouragement telling me what you think I should be proud of, it’s just the way I feel, but I am proud of this. I’m proud that even though it’s for two days (so far) I’ve stuck with it when I could have just had one chocolate chip cookie that was staring at me from the press. As I said before, no one would know – apart from me! The only way I’ll prove to myself and others that I didn’t actually eat the biscuit, or anything else I had access to, is when I start to show that I’ve lost weight. Maybe I’ll gain a bit of self-respect as well as I have very very little of that left anymore!

I’m hungry now but then again I haven’t finished my two litres yet but there is just over a mouthful left so that’ll be gone before this post appears in the feed.

I’m hungry now but then again I’m on a liquid diet.

I’m hungry now but then again my body is used to a lot more calories than the 610 I’m getting.

I’m hungry now but then again I’m always hungry!

P.S. Forgive spelling and/or grammar tonight please. I’m so incredibly tired.

So I went off to see my new fitness instructor and nutritionist today.

I knew I was in for an eye opening experience but didn’t realise just how much! For €80 a time she is well worth it. Actually, I think she is. Lets just say that right now she appears it, we’ll see if she’s earned her money when I go back next week and find out how much I’ve lost.

Because I wasn’t always this size my weight has never really bothered me but I’ve known for a long time I should be doing something about it. I once weighed twenty-five stone! A diet club helped me lose most of that but it was closed down when we found out the leader was on the fiddle.

Lovely Anita (and she really is lovely) has given me a strict diet of stuff and recommended little exercise for the first two weeks as if I do too much I’ll get angry at not being able to do it and that will lead me to not do any at all. Makes sense really but it’s not something I’ve ever really thought of.

So people, I have a little game for you.

Take a look at the two pictures below and tell me how much I weigh now. I won’t be offended with any guess. I was quite shocked. The person who gets closest gets a little prize of some sort, I don’t know what yet, maybe a cake I’m not allowed to eat! I’ll give you a clue… it’s more than 15st and less that 25st.

For a price I’ll post the nude ones!

P.S. I’m not smiling for a reason, not because I’m unhappy at being a tubby lump of lard.

P.P.S. Any one who wishes to shout abuse (and yes, there is a certain someone) feel free. Keep in mind that all you’re doing is pointing out the obvious. That’s hardly insulting is it? Oh and at least I’m losing weight, you’ll always be pig fucking ugly.