Landers

See you in August.

Love you x

I have been watching the series Band of Brothers recently. A friend lent me the box-set after telling me how good he’d found it. I’m half way through and I’m throughly enjoying it but it’s had an interesting but welcoming effect.

My grandfather was an engineer in the Royal Air Force, stationed in Burma during the second world war. My mother has all his medals and somewhere, I don’t know where (yet), she has all the letters he sent his wife, my nan, during his time away. Sadly he died before I was born so I never got the chance to ask him about his war effort but I don’t think I’d have got much information anyway as mom always said that he wouldn’t talk about even when she asked. She’s read the letters he sent home and from what she’s told me Band of Brothers (although about the U.S. army and not the RAF) has it about right with regard to the friendships that grew and the hardships people went through.

Apparently in one of the letters my grandfather sent home he talks about a busy day maintaining aircraft. He recognised one of the aircraft as that flown by a pilot he’d become very friendly with. The engineers watched as the planes took off and hours later watched as they returned. Of course not all of them did, one of those was that of my grandfathers friend. In the letter he talks about how he can’t afford to mourn his loss or take time to grieve as to do so would cause more problems. They prayed at a Sunday service and they remembered their lost friends but still couldn’t mourn. He wasn’t alone in this apparently. No one mourned for fear of breakdowns and becoming unstable and unable to carry out duties. In the letter he talked about how his squadron will mourn as a group when they return.

During the last ten months my family and I have suffered so much loss (thankfully none for at least eight/nine weeks now!) but I cannot imagine being surrounded by it on a daily basis, even more so when I can’t mourn or grieve.

I once tried to join the RAF. I wanted to be a pilot. Not a fighter pilot, those kind of planes never interested me. I wanted to fly troop/tank carriers, the big buggers basically! I did an aptitude test, a medical and had an interview and at the end I got told my eyesight wasn’t good enough to be a pilot but looking at my results someone had decided I was perfectly suited to be an engineer! You can imagine how excited my mother was and how disappointed I was. I didn’t join up in the end, as I’m sure you’ve already worked out.

Having watched Band of Brothers, a series based on real events and real people (some of whom are interview at the beginning or each episode) I have a new found respect for the armed forces, then and now!

A friend I went to school with joined the Navy at sixteen and went out to the Gulf. He was on board the Ark Royal during the first Gulf War. He’ll never know the respect I have for him. Mainly because we don’t talk about more for reason I’m not going into but even though there is that wall between us my respect for him is higher now than it ever was. Another friend is currently (as far as I know) in Afghanistan. A place where 223 soldiers have died since 2001. He’s lost friends, people he cares for. He could be next. That thought scares me a lot!

I always buy a poppy and occasionally my nan (dad’s mom not mom’s mom) and I would attend the Remembrance Day service at the Garden of Remembrance where all our families ashes are scattered but I think this year, having watched Band of Brothers and talked more to my mom about my grandfather, I think it’ll mean more than it has in previous years. I know that’s wrong, I know I should have always had this respect and I think I have in someway, just not the right way and absolutely not enough.

These people fight for our freedom. They fight so I can enjoy my life. I may not agree with why we went to war in the Gulf, I may agree with Thatcher sinking the General Belgrano but no matter what I think these people, these members of the armed forces go into this career of their own free will. They make the choice to enlist and face the possibility of dying for their country.

To them, those from the past and those willing to serve in the future I say thank you. Thanks is all I can offer but if you’re passing I’ll pop the kettle on and I’m sure I could spare a biscuit or two.

And Crispin Crispian shall ne’er go by,
From this day to the ending of the world,
But we in it shall be remembered;
We few, we happy few, we band of brothers;
For he to-day that sheds his blood with me
Shall be my brother; be he ne’er so vile,
This day shall gentle his condition:
And gentlemen in England now a-bed
Shall think themselves accursed they were not here,
And hold their manhoods cheap whiles any speaks
That fought with us upon
Saint Crispin’s day.

William Shakespeare’s Henry V; Act IV, Scene 3

Mama and I took an omnibus to the sea front with the hounds in tow.

A good day was had by all.

What what!

Before you read this entry please read a previous entry about me needing your help… click here to read it —> http://landers.livejournal.com/tag/help+needed

So today is the old mans birthday.

He will have been given the gift my mother bought for him to make out its from me… which it isn’t… gah!

I want to call mother, just to ask her a couple of things but he’ll answer and he’ll thank me for the gift to which I might reply “It was from mom not me!” or the ever popular “Can I speak to mom please!”

Bugger!

Spiros is fucking me off big time. I am so close to chucking her out the fucking window. I use to joke about her having a mind of her own but underneath I was very slightly serious about it. Now I’m am whole convinced she has the early stages of A.I. She annoys me on purpose. I know it.

I started work on a new story last night although I should write the second chapter to Companion. The second chapter is actually written and stuck on a disc somewhere I just never got round to carry on.

If you want to read the new one called In The End then go to http://intheend2006.livejournal.com. The introduction is up and the first part of the first chapter should be up soon. Ignore and grammar or spelling mistakes… I was just typing away and haven’t gone through it properly yet.

If you’re into reading stories online then check this one. http://mythsandmagic.blog.co.uk/ It gets updated far more than any of mine do and it’s enthralling.

Right, I’m going to go and sort out what we’re having for an evening meal… if anything… I may just let Affleck and the kids starve!