Landers

I know we’ve been back for a long while but various things have got on top of me and now I’m getting back on top of them (said the actress to the bishop) I decided it was time for an update. I can’t tell you about Saturday until I’ve told you about Berlin, it wouldn’t be fair. So here is a quick photo showdown of the last few days of our Berlin trip. If you wish to see the days before then look at here

Some of these may have been blogged before and as ever click to the picture to enlarge it.

So off we went to meet Kelly at the airport. Of course as soon as we’d got her and dumped the stuff back at Stephen’s then a trip to a bar followed along with a meal at an Ethiopian restaurant. From there it was off to a gothic styled bar for many many many drinks where I did my infamous “condom-up-the-nose-and-out-the-mouth” trick and then tried to stop the burning by snorting the cloud on top of my beer. Everyone had a good laugh and after much drinking it was time for bed. If you wish to see those pictures you’ll need to go to www.rampageinberlinnights.com and sign up to my porn site. It’s a amazing how literal that web address is!

In the morning Stephen had to work so Kelly, Brad and I headed off to the touristy stuff around Berlin, taking in a lovely breakfast firstwe then did the sights and saw thisand thisand found thisand then met up with Stephen and headed off for something eat herewhere I had one of these. From there we went here(BCUK HQ)and saw people work and saw Stephen hard at it. We took a walk along hereto drop Kelly at the station and after saying our goodbyeswe headed herewhere Stephen became nervous about catching gay (it might have been the looks I was giving him) so calledVasco for back up. After a while we moved to a little beach bar – in Berlin! – on the coast of the river Spree – where Stephen became braver – or my advances were beginning to work but in reality I think it was possibly just the massive magnets in my pockets because Vascosoon came swooping in to join us. Sadly the weather (in Stephen’s world) took a turn for the worst and we all headed off to our respective beds. In the morning once Brad was up (ooo err) we did the touristy things again and went up hereto look at thisand this and this as well as looking down on the place where we had breakfast the morning before with Kelly (where my favourite photo was taken). Once down we saw this and this and then went off to see this , which is the Holocaust Memorial and very very awe inspiring from all angles and massive yet for some reason has been built right by where the entrance to Hitler’s Bunker was and to add insult to injury the blocks are coated in an anti-graffiti coating which was made by the same company that made the gas that killed the Jews! So after that we took a ride in one of these to take us down here so we could go up this driven by him with me and him in the back! Imagine the weight! Once at the top of this we had this view and saw this and then came down these (349 of them!) I collapsed and after a quick smoke and drink recovery we went and looked at and and then sitting here waiting for Stephen to take us here
so we could drink some more then go to bed so in the morning we could go here to get here to come home.

All in all we had an absolutely fantastic time. Stephen is a wonderful host and marvellous tour guide. Kelly is amazing, just as she always has been and the people at BCUK HQ were so very warm and welcoming! Vasco was incredibly generous, Grit was stunningly beautiful, Alex was amazingly charming and the whole experience of Berlin was wondrous.

So where did I leave off?

Ah, yes! Being a little pissed after watching Rampage play footie!

After grabbing some “sneaky beers” – the same a Cheeky Beer in Birmingham – we headed back to Chez Rampage for a quick dump, Guinness and change of clothes and then headed off to the Karneval (carnival) that was taking place in Berlin at the time.

Rampage has a mate who has a mate who invited him via him to view the Karneval from his balcony over-looking the whole thing. the sun was roasting and I did burned my head!

After a while we decided to go back to Chez Rampage so that Brad and I could have a little sleep as by this point we’d both been up for about twenty-six hours so a little nap would do us good. The plan was to sleep for three hours, wake, text Rampage to find out where he was and then go meet him.

This plan failed. Drastcially!

We slept… for eighteen hours… with small breaks inbetween.

I woke up about midnight when Ramps came in and bashed away at his ‘puter like he was trying to hammer the keys back in with his tiny mallet fingers. I woke again about 4ish when Rampie came home, farted and then fell into bed. I then work around 7ish when I went for a pee and fag. Half an hour after being back in bed Ramps woke up once more, with a huge erection*, and I said good morning. His repyl was “Uggh nurrg urgghh nurg need pee uggh gugrg nurrg,” and he left, returning about 5 minutes later and falling back in to bed.

I woke again a little while later and lay in bed reading some of the Rampies impressive amount of classic books – the Divine Comedy, A Picture of Dorian Gray and Lesbians Expose Monthly, to name but a few.

Finally by midday everyone was up with Ramps feeling a little worse for all the alcohol he’d had.

We headed off for breakfast at an all you can eat buffet place and pigged out on bread and cheese and scrambled egg and some raw meat product that I only took one bit of. Then we had a stoll in the park where the was a fair on and a ride where you could get “Well Flung!”

From there we walked up to Tempelhof Airport. An airport built by Hitler and then used by the American’s up until the 70′s during the cold war when Russia became a little bit of a pain in the ass.

Seeing the airport and knowing it’s history was qutie awe inspiring. I love history and seeing something built by Hitler was quite a humbling moment for me. It’s a shame they plan to flatten it.

From there it was a short bus ride to meet Kelly.

Now people are waiting for me as we’re off to see more sites so I’ll tell you more about the meet and greet at the airport, the ethopian food, the coffin and the ambiwanking later.

TTFN x

*he’ll be thrilled I added that I’m sure!

So we arrived.

Rampage met us at the airport, although it did take us a little while to work out it was him after much staring at various people and saying to ourselves “I do hope it’s not him!” Thankfully none of them were and we were pleasantly surprised when a lovely bloke turned up and we got aquainted.

After enjoy toast and chocolate spread for breakfast we went off to watch Rampers play football.

Rampers is in the green… and on it!

Once the footie had finished we headed orf for a beer or two.

And we’re not at in Rampage’s place… I’m a little bit pissed… and it’s only 2.30pm and we’ve got lots of drinking to do…

Upon return to Ireland I will have no liver.