I’m often amazed at how the mind works when it comes to memory recall. I couldn’t tell you what I had for lunch yesterday but a simple comment on the radio has me instantly remembering something from over twenty-five years ago that I hadn’t thought about for probably the same amount of time.
On the radio today they were talking about the snow (every other news item seems irrelevant at the moment) when a caller said “and I could only go at about thirty miles per hour!” Instantly in my head it’s 1984!
I’m eleven years old and it’s my first year at secondary school. Earlier that year I’d bought a clipboard from WHSmiths with some vouchers I’d had from my Auntie Winnie for my birthday. What an eleven year old needs with a clipboad is beyond me but I know I wanted it! It was yellow and had “Speed Limit: 30mph when leaving class!” written on the front. I found it hilarious! The shame!
So there I am in a biology lesson with Miss Kelly and I’m taking notes with my notepad fastened to my clipboard. I was so proud and it obviously made me the most itelligent person in the class.
Without warning Spencer Glanville, a fellow pupil, grabs it out of my hands and “autographs” the back!
“That’ll be worth a fortune when I’m famous!” he says.
I was furious but could do little about it as I was already on report for telling an English teacher to fuck off so snapping at Glanville would have got me in more trouble!
I got my revenge by unscrewing the leg of his tripod while he fetched a beaker of water. As soon as he put the beaker on the tripod it gave way and 300mls of water soaked him and his workbook – the intended target.
Miss Kelly took one look at the tripod and knew it had been tampered with and muttered “bloody sixformers!” under her breath as she cleaned up broken glass and told us to settle down.
I still have the clipbaord somewhere at mothers and although it’s faded a litle you can still make out the feint nearly twenty-six year old signature of an eleven year old Spencer Glanville on the back.
Spencer left our school at the end of the first year and I’ve never heard of him since. If anyone knows if he ever became famous, other than his mention on the worlds most popular blog, let me know. I could be sitting on a small fortune!
